Stalactites
Casino Danova – April 1998
Jack rested quietly in his overstuffed recliner. He especially loved sitting by his big picture window, watching December’s sunlight as it glistened off the new-fallen snow. Warm rays were melting some of the snow that had built up in last week’s storm. The sun was now, ever so slowly, fading into the Western horizon. Droplets of water had been dripping in a steady stream but, now, each droplet took it’s place at the bottom of each sparkling icicle.
Bitter cold air was turning tiny snowflakes into a multi-colored prism, reflecting off the walls around him. After a few moments, his tired eyes closed. Within seconds a lifetime of memories, like those crystals growing below the eaves, slowly opened each room in the hallways of his mind.
Steven had been his best friend, both in and out of school. Though living three miles apart, they willingly plodded through freshly-plowed fields, even deep snow, in order to play together. Few kids are closer than he and Jack.
In time, boys find that girls eventually catch their fancy. So it wasn’t long before Steven began spending more of his time with a beautiful girl by the name of Jenny. And Jack understood as best he could. They still wrestled, played catch and, by now, rode Steven’s new motorcycle through the forested back roads of Waterford, Virginia. When Steven’s dad gave him a rifle one Christmas, the two boys went out in the woods to practice shooting.
Jenny and Steven had been close, but, one day in February of their Freshman year, they split up. Jack, not wanting to hurt his friend’s feelings, spoke with Steven about his own interest in Jenny. His buddy told him he didn’t care because he had already met another girl. It wasn’t long before the entire school knew about the tightest couple on campus—Jack and Jen.
A few months after getting together, Jenny took Jack aside. “If you want us to stay together, you’ll have to stop seeing Steven.” The promise of young love can be overwhelming to a teenage boy. Not understanding the reason behind her request, Jack abided by her wishes. The two boys came to see each other less as time went on.
And so it went for the next two years. Love! Beautiful love! Jack felt as if she cared more about him than life itself! It was the best time of his life. As they slow-danced at their Junior Prom, no one else knew that they’d dreamed of marrying one day.
Teenage love, though, can be as passionate as much as it is desperate. Jenny’s father was an alcoholic. Jack’s mother had passed when he was in Sixth Grade. They each had challenging histories.
One day in November of their Senior year, Jenny’s mother decided to leave her abusive husband. She and Jenny moved away. Jack’s broken heart had been sliced in two, wounded beyond repair. He had escaped his own harsh environment a couple of times to visit her, but he felt the weight of impending doom. He just knew that he could love Jenny—more than anyone ever would.
Two weeks after graduating, Jack covertly packed his old car and left home, with no intention of returning. He had no plans as to a destination; just get away! He stopped in Scranton to see Jenny. Sitting side-by-side in his car, his castle walls crumbled as she gave him back his class ring. “I’m going to nursing school, and we won’t be able to see each other anymore.”
He had once discussed Jenny’s leaving town with his buddy, Steven, but he found little sympathy. Steven had felt shunned by Jack. Realizing that he’d lost both his love and his old friend, Jack decided to drive as far away as he could, in hopes of forgetting them both.
Jack ended up in San Francisco. It was as far as he could go and not leave the country. But, life’s history never disappears. Unexpectedly, on foggy afternoon in ’63, an old friend met with Jack. Her travels as an airline stewardess had brought her to The City. Without warning, Barbara asked, “Did you know that Steven drowned last year?”
“What?” He responded, in total shock.
“Yes. He, his wife, and their two kids went to Lake Serenity on the Fourth of July. They had some lunch and he decided to swim to a raft about a hundred-feet out. He never made it.”
Just as that bonfire was searing his conscious mind with all it’s attendant pain, he was back in his recliner. His dog had stifled a soft growl. She must have heard an unusual noise. He was blinking into consciousness as a long, icy stalactite, just outside the window, snapped under its own weight.
Like that icicle, he thought, love had come and gone in tiny drops over the years. “Maybe I deserved it,” he reasoned. “I lost my mother, my best friend, my Jenny, all my old friends. They all died before their time, before I had a chance to let them know what they meant to me. I should have told them how honored I felt to have lived during their time-frame, during their moments on Earth.”
Jack had tried to warn his kids about the dangers of teenage love. But he’d been a prophet in his own country. As with all children, they had seen the underside of ‘The Man.’ He was not a super-hero. They had grown up seeing him in his underwear, and making Everyman’s mistakes.
Our unquenchable thirst for love comes to us in tiny droplets, eventually shattering into little pieces when it gets too big. Emotions are temporary, and easily destroyed by those in whom we voluntarily place too much trust. Love is frozen in its own time-frame. At times, it moves with the speed of light. At others, it’s a long journey into oblivion.
Jack had outlived them all. Still living on his own at ninety-one, still taking care of his own needs. The phone rings so seldom that it takes him a moment to remember whatever it is that’s making that sound. His precious Golden Retriever, Jenny, now fills the emptiness in his heart. She doesn’t ask for anything more than a pat on the head, or the chance to curl up at his feet. If she has memories, she holds no grudges, no ill-will. As she runs in her sleep, he figures she’s dreaming of chasing the neighbor’s cat.
Perhaps, he wondered, God made dogs to be an example of what Heaven will be like. Love, warmth, humility, a place to lay your head. Jenny was closing in on her fourteenth birthday, and her face was as gray as his hair. He’d often wondered if he, or if she would go first. If she went, what would he do? If he went, well, the neighbor’s cat would know and they’d come and rescue her.
Life is like that. Like a huge stalactite. Today’s dreams will take their place at the end of all those beautiful memories. Reflection may cause the dam to leak, coursing new paths down our cheek.
In the twilight, Jack closed his eyes one last time. The bitter wind threw dry snow against his window. Jenny slowly rested her heart on his knee.